Pain in the ass!

by Jeff Stebane

What is a pain in your ass?  Is it your kids, wife, someone at work?  I am sure that everyone has someone that could be deserving of the title.  Go ahead and take a few seconds to search through your minds inventory and if you  come up without any names take a really good look at your self.  Its probably you that is the talk of all your friends.

How do we get around the problem of this person?  I guess we first should look at what type of person they may be.  I know you are probably thinking to your self "why should I spend time thinking about them more than I already have"  The answer is so that you can come up with a solution.  I know that I may leave out some of the types of people, and if I do I am sorry.  (Please feel free to drop me an email and fill me in with the other types)

Ok.  The first type would be the "Tragic".  This is that person who always has a worse story to tell.  His family life is always bad (even though his family seems to be just fine).  Nothing good ever happens for this person.  You know they just found five dollars but complain about what to do with it.  Life always has to revolve around this person.  It could be the co-worker that you don't ever talk to but yet when you tell them that you went to a movie with someone else from work they are upset because you never invited the them along.

The next type is the "Child".  Now keep in mind that the person doesn't need to be a child just acts like one.  This is the easiest one to pick out.  Usually lives at home well into there 30's.  Parents or girl friend buys everything for them.  Probably doesn't hold a job for to long.  You know the type.

The third type of pain in the ass is the "Authority figure".  If you are under 18 this would be just about everybody that you meet.  As you get older you mostly see this as your boss, parents, or any city official.  The one that really gets to you though is that friend or acquaintance that is the rule maker.  They tell you what to wear or make the plans every weekend without asking your opinion.  Pretty easy to spot, anybody that tells you what to do.

The fourth and final type is called "Eeyore".  Now this one can be tricky because it is almost the same as the "Tragic" type.  The biggest difference is that everything that is done has a hint of depression in it.  "Nobody likes me, why should I keep doing my job"  Those kind of negative comments.  This is usually the easiest of the four to not let bother you.

Ok now for the fun part.  How do you stop these people from driving you nuts?  I don't freakin' know???  If someone has an answer for me tell me.  I have all of them bothering me.  Every day.  Pissing and moaning.  Its like they search for me and then attach them selves to my life support.

Ok, ok, I will try and help you out.  I didn't waste your time for just that.  I will give it my best shot at helping you out.  Here goes.  

You can handle the  Eeyore type pretty easy.  They basically are only down on themselves.  They have no self esteem so they will do just about anything that you want them to.  (I guess that would turn you in to the "Authority type" though)  

I don't put up with the "Authority" type at all.  I work for my self so I don't worry about a boss.  Usually I get it from adult figures but I can usually blow them off pretty easily or do the switcheroo.  You just change the subject to something that makes them uneasy.  Usually porn with do the trick.  Tell them about how you are trying to break into adult films and usually they will walk away.

Ahh yes, the "Child".  This one is easy if you just watch for the signs right away.  If you catch it before they move there clothes into your house you have a fighting chance.  If you are past that point it is best to just move along.  Try picking a new State far away and hope that they don't try to follow.  (Good luck, usually they will tag along like a lost puppy)

The final one is "Tragic".  I really and truly don't know how to get over this type of person.  They plague me like a sailor with scurvy.  I try to be nice.  I try to listen to what they have to say.  I just don't really care about the person enough to want to help them.  I really like to just move on, but sometimes you can't. -jeff


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